You birthed an alien....

What did you do with my baby boy? I watched her give birth and he has only left my sight for 5 mins in the last 12 hours. Nurse, you've got a 6'5, problem on your hand....this was my reaction to my boys first "poo," if you can call it that. If you haven't read any books, like myself, on infants, this one fact will have you questioning what your wife just gave birth to. As someone who rather enjoys phone game time and word puzzles on the porcelain throne,  I'm no stranger to this bodily function. I was a stranger to this, Meconium. It sounds like a word your friend plays on Words with Friends that will have you calling Webster himself.  From common knowledge, I know that babies eat what mom eats. They yank on that cord and ring in the orders. As the man who had to run and get those orders, I know what my wife ate. The erratic cravings had her in tears and me with a fridge of an abundance of food that I thought covered the craving basis but turned her stomach once she had her fill. (I had to eat the rest. Chicken noodle soup for days.) Needless to say, the assortment of her diet was colorful and rich; bright greens, deep reds, rich browns, lustful oranges. Knowing this, I could not explain what the hell came out of my son for the first time. He had to be an alien. It looked like my wife had a diet of black bean everything; black bean soup, black bean casserole, black bean omelets, black bean shakes, black bean pancakes. Be prepared men, be prepared...